𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱.

After I posed about rejection on LinkedIn, Jeff Kaye—someone I deeply respect in the fundraising world — reached out to tell me I was wrong.

That a donor saying no isn’t a rejection.

And he was 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵.

Because 9.8 times out of 10, it has nothing to do with you.

As he so aptly put it:

 “We are offering someone an opportunity to make the world better. If they say no, it could be because they’re not ready to take that opportunity. Maybe we didn’t do enough to prepare them, or maybe there were other missteps along the way. But it’s not personal. It’s not about us. It’s about them. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 ‘𝘯𝘰’ 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘨𝘪𝘧𝘵—𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘶𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.”

He was responding to a post where I had talked about overcoming rejection.

And while I completely agree with him, I also remember what it felt like early in my fundraising journey…

And later, when I was learning sales in the startup world…

And—𝗹𝗲𝘁’𝘀 𝗯𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹—the times I was told someone “wasn’t interested” in dating.

Every no felt personal. A rejection of me, my abilities, my worth.

And since I’m out here talking to you—some of you might still be in that place. I know many of my clients are when they start working with me.

So one of the first things we do together is 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲.

𝗪𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗪𝗛𝗬.

𝗪𝗲 𝗰𝗿𝗮𝗳𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆.

𝗪𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘁, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁, 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴.

Because when you do that, every ask becomes an invitation.

And no matter how a donor responds, your mission remains intact—𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗼’𝘀 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗬𝗘𝗦.

Are you still taking ‘no’ personally?